Freaky Friday
Rosie told me - Get crackin! So here it is...
As many of you know, we been doing lots and lots of training at work. We have 4 noobs in our immediate dept. Couple really new, couple been there a over a month now. One of the first things taught, never, never, ever walk away with your puter unsecured. Big NoNo!
We are generous, we give freebies - After a month tho, its at your own risk to walk away. Now there are many things you can do in such cases, here's just a few:
1) Sign 'em up for fan clubs (heyyyyyyyy Michael Jackson and Barney!)
2) Send out mass emails requesting assistance in how to remember to lock computer.
3) Set up multiple occurances on their calendar to remind them to lock it or shut it down (we once did over 40 on someones).
4) Give them all new background pics, screensavers, fonts.
5) Change their mouse preferences (speed, left button now right, right now left)
Otay, so you got the picture. My favorite isn't listed above. But Imma tell you bout it!
One of the new guys has been warned daily this week to stop leaving his puter unlocked or one of these would occur. On Thursday night he went home and left it unsecured again. Bad move! So Linda says, we need to send out email. I say ok, but first let's do this...
Now this is a favorite trick of mine, and it never fails! Do a screenshot of their desktop without anything open. Save it. Now make it the background pic. Right click on Properties and under icons select Hide. This will generate a call to the help desk 99% of the time!
We decide to not do anything else to the computer, this will be fun to watch on Friday. In comes New Guy, sits down at his desk, turns that puter on and starts clicking. Glitch! Reboot! Clickey, clickey, click - not working? Reboot! Dayum still no click! REBOOT! Hell still not working! REBOOT! At this point, those sitting near him can't take it anymore, they break down. So they come chasing meh down to fix the puter. I have this down to a fine art - I fixed it before he could figure out how I did it. *innocent look* What?! There might be a next time!
He's telling meh how he's gonna pay meh back n stuffs. Mmmmmhmm good luck with that! Okay so he came in at noon today - get this! At 3pm he goes to lunch, guess what? Oh yah, you guessed it baby! Unsecured! Yay!! We get to play again!
Boss walks over and says, hey, want to fook with his puter? I say, I already did! He says oh, recent? I say umm no, he did it AGAIN? He says yah, let me tell you what to do!
My boss is good, he is evil, I like his style! He says, send me an email from New Guy saying how much you hate me and this job. Oooooooooooooooohhhhh you got it! Email was lengthy, but here it is in a nutshell.
I hate you. I hate this job. I hate my desk. I hate my computer. I hate this state. I hate you I hate you I hate you.
The boss replies:
I'm sorry to hear you hate your job and myself. You are welcome to leave at any time after giving me your two weeks notice.
On a side note, may I recommend moving to Florida, the age generation may be more to your liking.
New Guys reply:
I obviously left my computer unlocked again when I went to lunch.
The boss printed it out and hung it up at New Guys desk for a reminder of why computers should be secured.
Happy Friday!!
As many of you know, we been doing lots and lots of training at work. We have 4 noobs in our immediate dept. Couple really new, couple been there a over a month now. One of the first things taught, never, never, ever walk away with your puter unsecured. Big NoNo!
We are generous, we give freebies - After a month tho, its at your own risk to walk away. Now there are many things you can do in such cases, here's just a few:
1) Sign 'em up for fan clubs (heyyyyyyyy Michael Jackson and Barney!)
2) Send out mass emails requesting assistance in how to remember to lock computer.
3) Set up multiple occurances on their calendar to remind them to lock it or shut it down (we once did over 40 on someones).
4) Give them all new background pics, screensavers, fonts.
5) Change their mouse preferences (speed, left button now right, right now left)
Otay, so you got the picture. My favorite isn't listed above. But Imma tell you bout it!
One of the new guys has been warned daily this week to stop leaving his puter unlocked or one of these would occur. On Thursday night he went home and left it unsecured again. Bad move! So Linda says, we need to send out email. I say ok, but first let's do this...
Now this is a favorite trick of mine, and it never fails! Do a screenshot of their desktop without anything open. Save it. Now make it the background pic. Right click on Properties and under icons select Hide. This will generate a call to the help desk 99% of the time!
We decide to not do anything else to the computer, this will be fun to watch on Friday. In comes New Guy, sits down at his desk, turns that puter on and starts clicking. Glitch! Reboot! Clickey, clickey, click - not working? Reboot! Dayum still no click! REBOOT! Hell still not working! REBOOT! At this point, those sitting near him can't take it anymore, they break down. So they come chasing meh down to fix the puter. I have this down to a fine art - I fixed it before he could figure out how I did it. *innocent look* What?! There might be a next time!
He's telling meh how he's gonna pay meh back n stuffs. Mmmmmhmm good luck with that! Okay so he came in at noon today - get this! At 3pm he goes to lunch, guess what? Oh yah, you guessed it baby! Unsecured! Yay!! We get to play again!
Boss walks over and says, hey, want to fook with his puter? I say, I already did! He says oh, recent? I say umm no, he did it AGAIN? He says yah, let me tell you what to do!
My boss is good, he is evil, I like his style! He says, send me an email from New Guy saying how much you hate me and this job. Oooooooooooooooohhhhh you got it! Email was lengthy, but here it is in a nutshell.
I hate you. I hate this job. I hate my desk. I hate my computer. I hate this state. I hate you I hate you I hate you.
The boss replies:
I'm sorry to hear you hate your job and myself. You are welcome to leave at any time after giving me your two weeks notice.
On a side note, may I recommend moving to Florida, the age generation may be more to your liking.
New Guys reply:
I obviously left my computer unlocked again when I went to lunch.
The boss printed it out and hung it up at New Guys desk for a reminder of why computers should be secured.
Happy Friday!!
posted by Zanny Babbler at 6:05 PM
3 Comments:
Soooo mean to the new guy!!! I wub ur evilness!
OMGGGGG I love it!!!!!!!!
OMG! That's so hilarious! I love it!
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